Childhood shapes who we are – our confidence, our sense of self, the way we see the world. But growing up today isn’t what is used to be. Back then, playtime happened in gardens, in classrooms and friendships were built face-to-face. Now, it’s different. Social media isn’t just something kids use – its everywhere, all the time. It’s every “like”, it’s every comment, every notification, quietly shaping their thoughts, emotions – pulling them in, shaping their world in ways most adults don’t even notice.Growing up online isn’t optional anymore; it’s part of childhood whether we like it or not.
The way social media works is kind of sneaky when you actually think about it. Every platform, whether it’s TikTok, Instagram, or Snapchat, is built around algorithms – invisible systems that take note of what you like, what you stop on, and what makes you react, then they show you more and more of the same things. That’s why the content feels like it’s “made for you” all of the time – it’s designed to be addictive. Likes, comments, reactions – they’re like tiny little rewards that give your brain a sense of validation, and before you know it, you’re checking your phone every other minute. Add in infinity scroll and you’ll easily lose track of time without even realising it. There’s a big difference between using social media casually to pass the time and being constantly exposed, where the feed always pops up and the notifications simply never stops.
What people don’t always talk about is what actually goes on behind the screen. Social media is built around comparison, even when you’re not actively trying to compare yourself. You scroll past other people’s faces, bodies, friendships, holidays, achievements – all edited, all filtered, and all carefully chosen – and after time it slowly starts to affect how you see yourself, which isn’t always obvious in the moment. Then there’s the issue of privacy, or in other words, the lack of it. Everything you do online is tracked in some way: what you watch, what you like, how long you stay on a post for. Nothing really disappears. For adults, that might feel uncomfortable. But for kids and teenagers, it’s something else entirely. They’re still figuring out who they are, what they like, and where they’ll fit in, but they’re doing it in a space where they’re constantly watched, measured, and judged – by algorithms, by strangers and by each other. Growing up like that adds pressure most generations never had to deal with, and it’s a pressure that doesn’t just switch off when you log out.
Even before social media existed, bullying was a surprisingly common part of childhood. Recent data from England and Wales shows that about one in three children aged 10-15 have experienced some form of traditional bullying in the past year
, and nearly one in five have faced online bullying specifically – meaning hurtful messages, insults or harassment came from through a screen rather than in the playground. And that isn’t just an isolated trend – a wider European study found that around one in six school-aged children have been cyber-bullied , and the numbers are always rising.
The difference between face-to-face bullying and cyber-bullying goes beyond where it happens. Playground bullying has a clear beginning and end – the school bell rings, the school day finishes and there’s space from it. Online there’s no natural off switch. Messages can be screenshotted, shared, or reposted; a joke between friends can turn into a permanent post; phones mean that harassment can follow kids into evenings, weekends, and bedrooms – someplace that should be someones safe space. That constant exposure – no matter how small the messages might seem on its own – adds up in ways that traditional bullying never did.
The emotional consequences of this is real. Research has shown that young people who are victims of cyber-bullying often report much higher levels of sadness, distress, and emotional pain than those who haven’t been targeted online. In some studies, large proportions of teens who have been cyber-bullied say they’re felt very sad, considered suicide, or even made a suicide plan during the experience. While not ever bullied child will experience these outcomes, the connection between sustained online harassment and deteriorating mental health – including increased risk of self-harm and suicidal thoughts – is something that health experts take seriously.
It is important to say this thought; social media isn’t meant to be harmful. For a lot of young people, it does offer things that previous generations didn’t have. It creates connection – a way to stay in touch, to find people who feel similar, to realise that you’re not as alone as you thought. For some kids, online spaces become communities where they finally feel understood, especially if they don’t get that sense of belonging offline.
Social media gives access to information and support in a way that can be genuinely powerful. Mental health resources, awareness campaigns, shared experiences – all of it is more visible and more accessible than ever before. People talk openly about things that used to stay hidden, and that openness can be comforting. There’s also creativity – art, writing, music, fashion, activism. Young people use platforms to express themselves, to tell their stories, and to see representations of lives and identities they might not see around them in everyday life.
The problem isn’t that social media exists – it’s how deeply it’s embedded into childhood without enough protection, understanding, or balance. What’s meant to connect can easily overwhelm. What’s meant to empower can sometimes pressure. Social media isn’t inherently bad, but growing up with it requires more care than we’ve been giving it.
Social media brings both harm and benefit. It can connect young people, give them a voice, and open doors to information and support, but it can also expose them to pressure, comparison, and constant judgement. Whether it helps or harms depends largely on how it’s used – and who is taking responsibility. Parents, schools, platforms, and society all play a role in shaping how children grow up online. Growing up online doesn’t have to mean growing up overwhelmed, but that only changes if we start taking the impact of digital childhood seriously.
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